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When I closed my eyes yesterday night, some hazel dreams started dancing in the deep darkness in-front of my eyes. But all I could see were those murky dreams that were just randomly jumping rather than dancing with those mesmerizing steps. And then with all my strength I tried to clear this smoggy scene and at the end all I could see were zillion twinkling dots telling me to shape my dream. I took one dot, joined it to another and then to another and then to another……..
Many painted dreams now invisibly rest besides me. And today when I tried to admire them, all I could feel and see is that they are not fitting in the space. I don’t know what this space is all about. May be it is all that my heart can think of, may be it is all that my eyes can see, may be it is all those emotions that I can feel or may be it is just a reflection of some fanatical dreams on a thin ice. I am clueless! And today only I got to read this message for me…..
“… that when you pursue your dreams, every second is an encounter with God. Following your dreams opens your heart allowing God to enter and fill you with bliss.”
I am here now with my dreams, struggling hard to fit them into my defined space. Many have been crippled and few have been smashed in this trial. I don’t know where God will enter and if He can fill cracks with his bliss. Just with a hope…..Amen!
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Some Days…..

It’s just one of those days where you lock yourself in your room, crank the depressing music, curl up on your bed, and cry for no reason at all.

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Words wrap virtually around uncertainity

one running east and other towards west

Meanings evaporate from unseen heart

making ambuigity king of unknown modesty

Two views seen from same eyes

to slink blindness of mysterious words!

 

One of my friend’s suggestion to me was, I need to think before I speak. I am a perfect chatter-box when it comes to comfortability and never I think what am I speaking. He once told me that your kinda people are very good in hurting people unknowingly. That time, I was thinking donno how many times, I have hurted him and when I asked, he told me never but he was sure the way I speak without thinking is not a good habbit. The way like I am;  poor in drawing lines, comfortability setting-in at earlier stage if I feel good vibes, makes me more prone to this problem. I always take the person on the other side to be guaranteed about our understanding, which I guess is not a good way. I tried many times but somehow, somewhere I always fell into this trap.

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Mistakenly I landed on carving road

Thoughts diluted in mixture of sucking granules

Wisdom was shy to show real adventure

Life lost somewhere in dark corner of moon

One step seemed like to cover whole cosmos

If it was that big, why couldn’t I reach dead end?

I soothed myself as ‘You’ were there, I guess!

I tuned to see if my shadow was following me

But I was blind for my eyes were weak in dark

I was deaf for I could hear only echo of silence

Cursing echoes were returning back to me

And I decided to follow the path of echo

That was the best journey for me, I think

My path was decided from deep inside of me

Cursing echoes were ‘Your’ blessings

For they were blown from your deep heart

I stepped onto the journey reaching ‘You’

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sometime when you say

‘i trust you’

and sometime when you say

‘i believe you’

all i can see is same image

of the words in love mirror

with a subtle difference

that lay in eye holding tear

and other eye freeing tear

i have seen they always say

‘blind’ with ‘trust’

but never i heard you saying

‘i believe you blindly’

all i can see now two images

of the words in skeptical mirror

with a subtle similarity

that lay in ‘I’ and ‘You’

may be i have started

to feel than to read

may be i know

trust can be bounded by blindness

but when you say

‘i believe you’ i know

it is bounded by freeness

sometime when you say

‘i believe you’

i want you to say

everytime

‘I believe You as I’

‘I trust You as I’

‘I love You as I’

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LOVE

Beholding future in glittering eyes

Sunset beauty ransacked by heart

Hands held trussing two fate lines

Wrapping them in ecstasy of heaven

Lips rest on each other touching heart

Lovers inside seashell forming pearl

Stepping on journey bounded by love!

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Right now, I am feeling as if there lay an endless vacuum between my body and my soul. Even if my body is mingling with all the lively things, enjoying with whatever given to the body by senses but inside, my soul is just sitting alone without any contact with anyone. My soul has become completely dormant. Like, my soul wants to be with my body, wants to feel sense of completeness and satisfaction. But  whenever the soul opens her arms to touch – a try towards liveliness, the soul finds that the distance between her and the body has increased.

Which feeling is this?

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