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Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

unlike her quiet silent morning song

this morning

the rain came with lyrical spring song

full of those gusty innocent smiles

and every tear like a bubble vanished

as if her life started loving rain even more

she carried each rain drop with perfection

and kept in her asylum of cloudy heart

not always you live for big things in life

but for the smallest thing

like for a rain drop

and to feel the greatest glory of God

and in the end

when purple melancholy was broken

with bright perfect love of sunshine

every rain drop in her heart

wrapped itself so perfectly

that it seemed

nothing has even been touched by her heartbeats

~neilina

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When I closed my eyes yesterday night, some hazel dreams started dancing in the deep darkness in-front of my eyes. But all I could see were those murky dreams that were just randomly jumping rather than dancing with those mesmerizing steps. And then with all my strength I tried to clear this smoggy scene and at the end all I could see were zillion twinkling dots telling me to shape my dream. I took one dot, joined it to another and then to another and then to another……..
Many painted dreams now invisibly rest besides me. And today when I tried to admire them, all I could feel and see is that they are not fitting in the space. I don’t know what this space is all about. May be it is all that my heart can think of, may be it is all that my eyes can see, may be it is all those emotions that I can feel or may be it is just a reflection of some fanatical dreams on a thin ice. I am clueless! And today only I got to read this message for me…..
“… that when you pursue your dreams, every second is an encounter with God. Following your dreams opens your heart allowing God to enter and fill you with bliss.”
I am here now with my dreams, struggling hard to fit them into my defined space. Many have been crippled and few have been smashed in this trial. I don’t know where God will enter and if He can fill cracks with his bliss. Just with a hope…..Amen!

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There was something different that day. She felt what-if something happens to her tomorrow, she has never told him how much he means to her life even though he doesn’t feel anything for her.

She clicked on his name and stared at the popped-up window. And finally after few time clicks….

She: Hey….are you busy?

He: Is there something urgent?

She: Nope, nothing like that!

After few more time clicks….

He: So, are you back at home? Had your dinner?

She: not yet…have to prepare yet!

He: hmmm

She: I just wanted to tell you that you are very special to me.

He: Why? what happened suddenly…so, which movie have you watched?

She: *blank*

He: Don’t get senti on me, you know that I don’t like all this.

She: I know……I am sorry!

He: I don’t know what to say…..don’t put yourself into too many emotions and sentiments…..it pains later….am too straighforward!

She: Okay

She closed the window with a thought is he the one with whom she got engaged.  A fear crippled her when she thought about her future with him!

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Long long back when I was lurking in shadows of my emotions, my dear blogger friend Amrit has awarded me this award. I am sorry Amrit that I took very long to write a post about it. I am sure this laziness will drown me somewhere! 😦

image8Thanks so much dear and I am glad that you think I am a creative writer. 🙂

And remember my BlueMist Akka……yeah, yeah…..my Khumbh Mela Behan, she has also awarded my blog. Yay!! 🙂 Claps please!!

honestscrapaward1And now, the intricate thing is that I have to write ten honest stuffs about me…..Phew!! So, here it goes…..

  • It has been almost a year that I haven’t used my office shuttle in the morning. Is anyone interested in giving me an award on my laziness!
  • I am losing interest to talk to people on cell. In fact, I feel more comfortable now to chat with them.
  • I love when someone calls me in the mid of night 🙂
  • Letting go the things (sometime my dreams) and accepting the things are now my two mantras.
  • It is not easy for me to tell people what they mean to me. Sometime I just wish that they all could understand how much I love them.
  • Oh, I am just wishing for something to happen that will reinforce my belief in serendipity.
  • I love to see people laughing.
  • The best way to spill all my stupid emotions and thoughts is to write a poem on them.
  • Sometimes, I just want to escape and sleep in my mom’s lap and want to lay there till eternity.
  • The worst emotion that I have faced in recent days is to feel and to see your parents growing old.

F-I-N-I-S-H-E-D!!

Thanks so much for all your love!!!!!! Thanks for making me happy!

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My Dear Blog!

GONE???? not for long

My dear blog, I am so sorry. I guess it has been so long since I came here and kissed you with my words. I really missed you and all my dear friends. I don’t want to give an excuse but really I don’t know how ‘few’ days away from you muted into ‘many’ days. And I way I am, little distance always makes my heart to give excuse not to come back. But finally, I have come back. Even if I don’t print my footsteps on time, it doesn’t mean I am not here. You are always in my mind, even if I am hiding (from myself); may be for my transition period. Love ya, my blog! ~~Hug me Now~~

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YOUR DREAMS!

Silently when you gaze at grey clouds

holding breath as a bird soar through the clouds

Secretly I look deep into your eyes

to steal ashy, lifeless, sinless dreams

And when you see me hiding them

You come near to me and say

‘Give them Life, Paint my Dreams’

I wonder if you know every of me

I wonder how you imagine me

I wonder if I am your imagination only

I paint your dreams with utopian love

reckon every dream with my breath

And when I come near to you

to keep them again into your eyes

to ablaze your soul

I can only see your closed eyelids

And then I whisper slowly

try to go through little opening of eyelids

But you never open your eyes…

I lay there besides you

waiting for eternity

Just tell me once,

when will you open your eyes for your dreams?

~Neilina

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I never imagined You!

I never imagined you

with lips in shades of blue

where spasmodic laughter

has lived zillion times

and

with those wrinkles circling your eyes

eyes that still hold the thrill of radiance

of early morning sunshine from pines

I never imagined you

with a heart of tickling heartbeats

that cloaks all joy of zillion daydreams

daydreams not of you, not of me, but of ‘us’

and

with those crimpled hands

that still holds all the secret promises

mesmerizing our eyes with golden twilight

I never imagined

those cheeks, blenched beneath freckles

as if love is curling-up in the softness

and then flying away into indigo clouds of night

But I imagined…………….

me in-front of you

lying there lifeless

And

I imagined

every tear

falling tenderly upon my heart

burning the flame

may be of love’s radiating brillance

And then ……………………..

I stopped imagining

Me without You

~neilina

P.S. For the prompt “One Single Impression”. Poem is about the impression left by the imagination!

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