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Archive for the ‘personal’ Category

It really feels so great sometimes when you are in silence with the world, not bothering about what noises are saying about you. And you are a complete chatterbox with yourself. I am loving this feeling. It has given me confidence and happiness.

  • Few days back my mom told me about the condition of my grandpa. He is in his late eighties and suffering from some or the other kind of old age illness now. He got blood clot in the brain and few months back when I had gone to my native, he was having a bad time with his heart. When I saw him, I hugged him so tightly for death to surrender. I can count on my fingers the number of occasions we have talked. And now I am scared to see my life’s journey. I know with this growing age I won’t be having everyone with me. There won’t be anyone in my life to whom I can call grandpa. Sometimes you feel, it isn’t the time spend in the relationship that makes it strong, there is some other thing also. And I am missing him now.
  • Finally I enrolled myself into Reikhi class. I am really happy for this 🙂
  • The weekend was dedicated to Spa and Parlor. First time I am realizing the importance of money after visiting spa… 🙂
  • My office is shifted to different building with new project. Although I rarely know people here and but I am enjoying this invisibility. It is a different feeling when you are among strangers.
  • I have grown my nails. Doesn’t it feel beautiful to see your manicured hands 🙂
  • Friends are still the heartbeats for my happiness. I am really a sucker for this happiness. The moments that hold our songs sung together, the candle night dinner that we landed into, gossips about each and everyone, the gifts, the teasing………….all these have become my favorite memories. Somewhere you realize……..

You say someone:

~ Is a paradox.
~ Is an enigma.
~ Is wired weirdly.
~ Is a madcap.

But you believe someone:

~ Is a good friend.
~ Is a Godsend.
~ Is one who connects.
~ Is humility, humour, honesty personified

~~ And that’s when you want to start believing in *good Karma ~~

Read these lines somewhere. Cheers to friendship!!!

Happy Women’s Day!!! 🙂

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WEAKNESS

Sometimes I feel as if all the scratches left by the time has been rubbed. I am now a free, happy fully contented tranquil soul. But few days back, it so happened that I felt to tell everything to one of my friend. We are good friends but after his marriage limits appeared in our relationship. The time we used to spend together, our gossips, our roaming, everything condensed. Anyways every relationship changes with time and it is best to change ourselves accordingly. I don’t know what made me to share everything with him and one day I told him everything about the latest happenings in my life. He didn’t say anything…..no words to soothe you! Just nothing! But he just kept his hand on my head. I love when others keep their hands on my head. I felt so weak and felt how much still I need care and support of someone. I still haven’t grown-up to face everything alone what my life has to offer. I just wanted to hug him there only, on the road and wanted to cry on his shoulder. But I saw the space that time has created. And I continued to walk like a programmed robot.

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Tag – Me At 10!!

Tauseef has tagged me to tell ten honest things about myself. So, here goes the tag………

1. I feel very uncomfortable to talk to people with their goggles. I feels like a big curtain is hanging between us. I am more into thinking through and interpreting the meaning from eyes and face expressions rather than what the words carry.

2. I always thank God for getting auto early morning while going to office. I don’t remember anything other than this for what I thank God everyday (saying loudly)!

3. I have started keeping myself isolated from the world. In-fact, I am feeling that my world is shrinking. I am growing with my thoughts and into my thoughts.

4. It is very difficult for me to choose between my values and expectations on one side and the people whom I love on other. Many-a-times, I have faced difficulities to choose one of them and it always lands me into guilt and insecurity.

5. My recent wish list includes Toyota corolla and everyday I am falling in love with this car.

6. I miss late night-long-talks with friends.

7. I am puzzled by the fact that some people hate to get forward mails. I love them and it is the best time-pass for me in office 🙂

8. My mood is lifted just by seeing blue.

9. I long to see a soul, a ghost (hopefully not), an angel or anyone not from this world.

10. I love to receive cards as gifts with nice wordings….ek dum dil se!

F-I-N-I-S-H-E-D!!!!

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In this abstruse and arcane world, sometimes  I feel like to create my own universe; making ‘you’ to stand at one corner and me at the other end and then painting a life where…….

a tear is enough to release all known secrets

each meet doesn’t mean becoming more strangers

every story doesn’t end with words but a longing

each bond takes a step towards serenity and freedom

understanding will come before giving explanations

trust doesn’t depend on years spent together

where….every turn of life will find ‘you’, waiting for me

………………..

I am still standing there, holding my life with abundance of marks left by you

I hope these marks haven’t got vanished by the strokes of my hardened heart

And you will see them on your return journey.

***********************

Up Above there

in the sky

Deep Below here

in my heart

where there lay

zillion songs

of drowsy words

and loner lyrics

screaming silence

with every heartbeat

Will ‘you’ sing that song for me?

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The ABC Tag

Like I always love tags, so here I am taking-up this tag again. You can check the old one here

And this time I got tagged by Amrit. Rules can’t escape from your life and so how this tag can go without rules.

  • Link the person who tagged you.
  • Post the rules on your blog.
  • Share the ABCs of you.
  • Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
  • Let the 3 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
  • Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag!

Here it gooooooes………..

A – Available/Single?  I am always single and available for life. Always ready to pair-up with life. 
 B – Best friend? Can’t name!! All my friends are best. But yes, there are some special people in life and really am thankful to them!
 C- Cake or Pie?  Cake, only choclate one! And Pie….hmm..haven’t tried yet! Will ask my BlueMist Akka if she can prepare one for me 😉
 D – Drink of choice?  Water, tea, coffee and now am somewhat inclined to Orange Pulp Juice!
 E – Essential item you use every day?  Mobile and my Lappi
 F – Favorite color?  Blue
 G – Gummy Bears Or Worms? I feel……Gummy bears!
 H – Hometown?  Apun ka Jammu!
 I – Indulgence?  Now-a-days am somewhat more indulged in shopping, reading poems and can’t resist good food.
 J – January or February?  February, you get to see more flowers and get to feel more freshness in air.
 K – Kids & their names?  Kids!!!!!! hmmmmm…..no kids as of now, planning to have after marriage only. And names, I guess I will keep their names as cheeku and peeku 😀
 L – Life is incomplete without?  A big laugh
 M – Marriage date?  Does anyone know??
 N – Number of siblings? One!
 O – Oranges or Apples?  Both…I can have them in alternate days!
 P – Phobias/Fears?  Loneliness, insecurity, losing whom I love, independence and now I am developing phobia about future also 😦
 Q – Quote for today? Don’t strew me with roses after I am deadWhen death claims the light of my brow,No flowers of life will cheer me instead

You can give my roses now!

 R – Reason to smile?  Parents, Friends, God, Hope and Faith!
 S – Season?  Autumn
 T – Tag 3 People?  All are welcome………
 U – Unknown fact about me?  I do get emotionally attach to strangers sometimes!
 V – Vegetable you don’t like? Hmmmm………difficult one!
 W – Worst habit? Getting involved too much at the start of relationship and my expectations.
 X – X-rays you’ve had?    Many……On the way to set a world record.. 🙂
 Y – Your favorite food?  Anything yaar….after staying in PG, I just crave for sumptuous food.
 Z – Zodiac sign?  I am a perfect taurean 🙂 Jai Ho Taurus!

 

Thanks Amrit!!! 🙂

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I hate love now!

Sometime love can make you slave, even of yourself. It tangles you so much into unnecessary and absurd feelings that the words from other people tangentially goes through. It makes you emotionally weak. And specially when it is a matter of first (lost) love, some people simply like to dip into it forever and they don’t realise that it is a cagey mirage. They can’t see outside world where someone is eagerly waiting to hug and love them.  This all is sham to them.

Why people are so weak and can’t gather enough strength to overcome their feelings when they know that these feelings of lost, first love is spoiling the lives of four people. Sometimes I feel like to hate love!

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Symphony

Life is really amazing. The thoughts that were bothering me few moments back (rather few months) are dissolved so well that I have started living with them. I have no idea whether the impact of change in me is everlasting or it is just an autumn phase making me prepare for spring. But deep inside don’t we all want to be the way we always are. But time, people, thoughts, some botheration, responsibilities makes you to change, change what they call you to be mature.

These thoughts are really shaping what I call ‘My Symphony of Life’ and in this symphony I really don’t want to miss my most harmonious feeling – …..  !!

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