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Archive for the ‘relationship’ Category

YOUR STEPS

i have always seen

our footsteps marked on sand

with rusted sunset holding our breath.

and now

when i go alone on that seashore

i always find your footmarks

on turning back

those tidal waves still caress them

as if you are their child

or may be they have their own way

of remembering who once stepped with them.

in same need as God of love

i also want to lay my steps

on those marked steps of yours

but every time those tidal waves

throw me high up in the air

where my heart chokes

with thoughts of meeting the horizon

……may be i was an unwelcome guest in your life

or……may be welcomed one but I overstayed

Sometimes i wonder

what if i again see you somewhere

in that shade of rusted sunset!

will then we still be presuming

being ‘US’ is a mistake

or we would have accepted

it doesn’t matter to our lives!

….but tell me once

which is more worse?

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Realizations….

  • I always believed that communication is the most vital part of any relationship. Well, it seems sometimes we share so much with someone but something from no-where always creeps-in creating a wall between the two. And sometimes even when the two communicates like anything, some words still remain unspoken creating a wall. I realized I am still bad in expressing myself to others.
  • You can’t have any relationship without limits. I thought I could have and then a try to have one, made the relationship to move away from my life.
  • Relationship is still the most difficult subject to think upon. I really don’t want to think!!
  • I realized the new changed me. Earlier Neilina who always wanted someone by her side now loves to live alone. She doesn’t believe now in soulmates.  I was surprised by myself only as to how I started accepting all the things coming in my life.
  • Facebook is addictive than orkut. And now it is happening, that I am not opening my orkut account for many days.
  • My cooking is not so bad 🙂 I have started liking my own dishes even when others are still giving me rank of 4 or 5.
  • And I want to thanks from deep of my heart to Rambler and BlueMist who are there with me since the time I started my blog on wordpress. Thanks Guys!

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There was something different that day. She felt what-if something happens to her tomorrow, she has never told him how much he means to her life even though he doesn’t feel anything for her.

She clicked on his name and stared at the popped-up window. And finally after few time clicks….

She: Hey….are you busy?

He: Is there something urgent?

She: Nope, nothing like that!

After few more time clicks….

He: So, are you back at home? Had your dinner?

She: not yet…have to prepare yet!

He: hmmm

She: I just wanted to tell you that you are very special to me.

He: Why? what happened suddenly…so, which movie have you watched?

She: *blank*

He: Don’t get senti on me, you know that I don’t like all this.

She: I know……I am sorry!

He: I don’t know what to say…..don’t put yourself into too many emotions and sentiments…..it pains later….am too straighforward!

She: Okay

She closed the window with a thought is he the one with whom she got engaged.  A fear crippled her when she thought about her future with him!

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Long long back when I was lurking in shadows of my emotions, my dear blogger friend Amrit has awarded me this award. I am sorry Amrit that I took very long to write a post about it. I am sure this laziness will drown me somewhere! 😦

image8Thanks so much dear and I am glad that you think I am a creative writer. 🙂

And remember my BlueMist Akka……yeah, yeah…..my Khumbh Mela Behan, she has also awarded my blog. Yay!! 🙂 Claps please!!

honestscrapaward1And now, the intricate thing is that I have to write ten honest stuffs about me…..Phew!! So, here it goes…..

  • It has been almost a year that I haven’t used my office shuttle in the morning. Is anyone interested in giving me an award on my laziness!
  • I am losing interest to talk to people on cell. In fact, I feel more comfortable now to chat with them.
  • I love when someone calls me in the mid of night 🙂
  • Letting go the things (sometime my dreams) and accepting the things are now my two mantras.
  • It is not easy for me to tell people what they mean to me. Sometime I just wish that they all could understand how much I love them.
  • Oh, I am just wishing for something to happen that will reinforce my belief in serendipity.
  • I love to see people laughing.
  • The best way to spill all my stupid emotions and thoughts is to write a poem on them.
  • Sometimes, I just want to escape and sleep in my mom’s lap and want to lay there till eternity.
  • The worst emotion that I have faced in recent days is to feel and to see your parents growing old.

F-I-N-I-S-H-E-D!!

Thanks so much for all your love!!!!!! Thanks for making me happy!

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“US”

i stepped once and

you stepped twice

and that was how

a journey was

covered of

thousand miles

in silence salty lap 

when eyes were closed

i laid there besides you

counting every dream

that took my breath away

and took my twinkle away

they took me down

they took me up

it was neither you nor i

i knew it was just ‘US’

i stepped once and

you stepped twice

and finally

in the darkness of night

we found a moon

with a star

shinning bright

and that was how

we finished our journey

of thousand miles

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In this abstruse and arcane world, sometimes  I feel like to create my own universe; making ‘you’ to stand at one corner and me at the other end and then painting a life where…….

a tear is enough to release all known secrets

each meet doesn’t mean becoming more strangers

every story doesn’t end with words but a longing

each bond takes a step towards serenity and freedom

understanding will come before giving explanations

trust doesn’t depend on years spent together

where….every turn of life will find ‘you’, waiting for me

………………..

I am still standing there, holding my life with abundance of marks left by you

I hope these marks haven’t got vanished by the strokes of my hardened heart

And you will see them on your return journey.

***********************

Up Above there

in the sky

Deep Below here

in my heart

where there lay

zillion songs

of drowsy words

and loner lyrics

screaming silence

with every heartbeat

Will ‘you’ sing that song for me?

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In fight…..

  • with loneliness
  • to know the meaning of relationship
  • to divert my mind
  • in knowing one name to whom I can make a call
  • to know what to do next
  • and atlast………..with myself!!

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