Archive for the ‘secrets’ Category

Long long back when I was lurking in shadows of my emotions, my dear blogger friend Amrit has awarded me this award. I am sorry Amrit that I took very long to write a post about it. I am sure this laziness will drown me somewhere! ūüė¶

image8Thanks so much dear and I am glad that you think I am a creative writer. ūüôā

And remember my BlueMist Akka……yeah, yeah…..my Khumbh Mela Behan, she has also awarded my blog. Yay!! ūüôā Claps please!!

honestscrapaward1And now, the intricate thing is that I have to write ten honest stuffs about me…..Phew!! So, here it goes…..

  • It has been almost a year that I haven’t used my office shuttle in the morning. Is anyone¬†interested¬†in giving me an award on my¬†laziness!
  • I am losing¬†interest¬†to talk to people on cell. In fact, I feel more comfortable now to chat with them.
  • I love when someone calls me in the mid of night ūüôā
  • Letting go the things (sometime my dreams) and accepting the things are now my two mantras.
  • It is not easy for me to tell people what they mean to me. Sometime I just wish that they all could understand how much I love them.
  • Oh, I am just wishing for something to happen that will reinforce my belief in serendipity.
  • I love to see people laughing.
  • The best way to spill all my stupid emotions and thoughts is to write a poem on them.
  • Sometimes, I just want to escape and sleep in my mom’s lap and want to lay there till eternity.
  • The worst emotion that I have faced in recent days is to feel and to see your parents growing old.


Thanks so much for all your love!!!!!! Thanks for making me happy!

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K – So, you write poems? I can smell something fishy. Am now dead sure there is someone in your life? Who is he?

It really sucks when I get to hear this statement in that sarcastic way. When you are not my friend and there is only professional relationship between us, why the hell are you intersted in this kinda thing? Are emotions come only when¬†there is love in your life? Does love writing show your love-life? Why don’t people¬†understand this??? Love is not necessarily to be there to write about love. And why they are so much eager to get a chance to peep into¬†my personal life?¬†¬†Really some people na……

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So, after a long time am again landing into Tag world. Priti has tagged me to list down my quirks. In a sleepy mood today, don’t know how many I can list, but wanna give a try………seems to be a fun.¬†

  • I love to see old couples,¬†babies (can’t resist to pull their cheeks) and school going kids when I am on the road.
  • I¬†am crazy¬†of¬†antique jewellery collection¬†even I hardly wear it.
  • For me, “first impression is not the last impression” holds true. Mostly my initial judgement about the people¬†is wrong. But if I feel that special kind of vibes for the other person that signals some insanity, I can never ever adjust with him/her.
  • I love to collect the greetings cards. My collection has the cards starting from my fourth standard. Love to receive cards ūüôā
  • I love to tease people.
  • For me communication is most important in any relationship.
  • My behavior is mainly governed with the vibes that I get from another person. I can be too friendly and too reserved!
  • I am tomboy at heart, love to go roller coaster ride, trekking, fishing and love to try the most adventurous things.
  • I am constantly change person and my mood swings like anything. But I can hardly show that I am upset and will keep everything with me. I can never tell the other person that¬†he/she has hurt-ed me.
  • Songs should always be near to me.
  • I have one lucky stone.
  • I always need ‘my’ time in a day. Can’t do anything if I don’t talk to God or¬†with myself.

All I can think of these points at 12 o’clock in the night with the drowsy condition. Thanks Gurl for the tag! All are welcome to take this tag.

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I guess tabula rasa child mind is influenced unknowingly by so many things which are not in our hands. Sanity Found’s post made me to think¬†about my childhood happenings¬†that somehow helped me to shape who am I. The incidences are very irrelevant and frivolous.¬†Memory is so wonderful. They make us laugh when we remember the times we cried.¬†But somehow I am realising at this point, all of them have surely helped¬†me to become I.

I was never bothered about my dressing sense. But now, I¬†have changed myself, I have become particular about my dressing when I have to go somewhere out.¬†It never clicked me that sometimes other¬†are so much bothered about what you are wearing until commented out by my friend when I was in first year of my engineering. That comment did act as catalyst in invoking memory of my childhood days when I was studying in fifth standard. I had just come finishing my routine playtime when my father told me that we all had to go out for some officer daughter’s birthday party. I was never interested in going out and to mingle with strangers. But saying ‘no’ to my father was not my cup of tea. I just took out my blue top and denim skirt and never bothered if my top had to be ironed properly or whether that blue color would go with that denim skirt. When we reached the birthday party, the girl’s mom told her to take me with her and to show all the toys. I still remember her eyes, the way she was seeing my top. And when I went to say Hi to all her friends, everyone started laughing at me and murmuring some comments about my dress. At that time, I was too shy to say few words. I listened all of them like a lamb. And like an ignored child, I was sitting alone in some lonesome corner¬†in the birthday party. And when we reached home, I cried like anything. Time has given maturity and I hate people like hell whose only job is to observe and to judge. I know now, this is all rubbish, but still when I have to go out, I will look myself in the mirror 2-3 times to make sure that my dress is fine.

Vomiting my feelings on pages started since my fourth standard. Don’t know where all my crap diaries have gone, I just pray they should not land somehow in my mom’s hand. And still I love to write my feelings on my private blog rather than to speak out with my friends.

As a child, daddy always used to make us sit with him and to read all the quotes appeared on the local newspaper. I guess my love of quotes started from there only. Otherwise I was never that kind that I would myself go and would take newspaper in my hand.

One of my friend had once told me, “You are the most unluckiest girl I have seen in my life”. I know at¬†that time, all the things were just slipping from my hand, but his comment made me to think, to ask many questions from God and to give a new direction to my life. I really started working hard which I guess I never did before. And now at this stage, touchwood…I am happy where I am and if I ever get a chance to meet that guy in future, I will surely gonna tell him about his wordings, may be which he made unintentionally but the wordings are still fresh in my heart. Don’t know why I can’t forget certain things!

More to go…………….

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BlueMist jee has tagged me! Here it goes…….

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

РIt will hurt me. But I will try to please myself that it better that I have known about his betrayal and have left him than to be in relationship with him, him having a betrayal heart inside.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

– Just now am dreaming of having a hot cup of tea with pakoras. Wish it can come true!

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

– hmmm…….no one! Can’t think even one name ūüė¶

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

– I will give back to the person who gave me. Not able to think how to make investments with the present money, forget about billion dollars. Why to take unnecessary tension!

5. Will you fall in love with your best friends?

Am already in love with all my friends. You didn’t mention ‘special love’ ūüėÄ

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

– Being loved by someone! For me it is the greatest blessing.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

– Nope, I will not wait. My real love will never¬†make me to wait…..I believe ūüôā

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

– I will still love him. My love doesn’t depends on¬†his attachments, depends on him only and only.

9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? your gf/bf or an actress/actor?

– Arjun Rampal…Kaaaaaaash!

10. What takes you down the fastest?

If anyone plays with anyone’s emotions. I can’t bear this.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

– I will be with my Chunnu Munnu and hubby……sitting in the balcony and waiting for their return from school and office ūüôā

12. What’s your fear?

The thought of losing whom I love and my loneliness (mood swings)!

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tageed you is?

– She is my BlueMist AKKA ūüėÄ but she doesn’t like this akka word, you know…..¬†it sounds so middle class, typically Monisha type ūüôā She is an amazing blogger, can write about anything- from credit cards, cooking, to movie reviews, books, daily chores and love…..just anything! It is always¬†a fun to read her post and to read the replies of my comments ūüôā

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

– What about if¬†I will be single and rich and then after that will¬†marry ūüėČ

15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

– I see the time and again put my alarm clock on snooze.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

– Yep completely….but afterwards I come to know¬†other person don’t deserve this, I will take everything back.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

– I will make¬†other two people to also fall in love, and then we all three will live happily together ūüôā

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

– Well, it is difficult for my heart to forgive, deep down the scratch always remain unless erased by time. I always remember how someone has made me to feel.

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?

Having a relationship obviously…who wants to stay single!

20. List 6 people to tag

– Only 6?? All the welcome to do this tag……..

Just check out BlueMist answers also, I loved the way this smart lady has replied. It will surely take you to the die laughing road. It did take me there when I read her post.

Thank You BlueMist!

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These days typical conversation between my mom and me¬†involves my mom’s favourite topic ‘marriage’. And whenever I tell her, give me one more year, I am not yet ready for marriage and to take all the responsibilities,¬†she angrily shouts, “you have got job, now well-settled, I don’t understand for whom you want to wait now. There is time for everything. When I was of your age, M (my young bro) had already started going to kindergarten.” What excuse should I give her? Hope she could understand I am hanging in¬†dilemma. I guess it happens with everyone. That is another story. On one side, sometimes I do feel to get married and have ‘my own home’ especially when I go to some supermarket and see all the homely things. I just wish I can buy them and then decorate my sweet home. On one side, having no idea who will come¬†in my life makes me pendulous. Now I wish I¬†should have gone for love marriage. There is no love line given on my palm and absence of it has always created repulsion between¬†me and love.¬†Now I am too old, even to think about love ūüėĬ†¬†My parent’s selection criteria works like this……..

  • Guy should be from J (my native).
  • He should¬†of my caste.
  • Horoscopes should match.
  • His surname should not be same as my mother’s family surname (when I asked her why? I got to hear, “This is the custom. It happens like this only”)
  • Preferably he should be working in some IT company (When I asked her the reason. The obvious answer was compatibility. And when I told her I don’t want to work after¬†marriage, she went into topsy-turvy situation ūüėÄ )
  • The guy should not be settled outside India.


And when someone asks me about my criteria,¬†I say¬†,”The guy should be tall. I always love to wear heels. And don’t want to abandon wearing heels after my marriage ūüėÄ ”

Whatever it is, I am totally loving this journey. And I guess¬†the enjoyment will come to end once some proposal will get fix.¬†I just pray¬†God to give me some time. And¬†‘HE’¬†will surely give me, afterall he knows¬†me better than anyone else ūüôā¬†Like the way it is happening, some proposal is coming, not satisfying their selection criteria, and then my mom telling me on the phone…”Where are you hiding…Oh! Mother’s Son,¬†appear¬†for my daughter” and I am telling her,”Don’t say anything about my Pati Dev” and our laugh continuing endlessly. Wish this time never ends!

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Certain things, I simply can’t digest and they are beyond my understanding. These things throw¬†my mood¬†and I am always left with¬†sore mind.¬†My condition¬†becomes more¬†distressing when I can’t say directly to¬†that person¬†and have to keep irritation inside me.¬†I am trying to ignore all these but sometimes you just can’t…..

  • When any of my guy friend¬†types¬†‘dear’ while¬†chatting¬†or anywhere in my scrapbook and that too¬†when I am not close or comfortable with him. Any how, I don’t like guys typing dear when they talk to me. Someone special should write this ūüėČ
  • When someone bangs door. I hate such noise.
  • When someone doesn’t close the tap properly. I hate to hear the ‘tip-tip’ noise that echoes in the silence of the night.
  • Boys keeping long nails. One of my friend is in the habbit to grow last finger nail. And when I asked him the funda, he was telling me there are many benefits. Aarey baba, for girls this is okay, but why boys??
  • When I am with¬†a group¬†having lingual diversity. I¬†can’t understand even one¬†word¬†and have to behave as if I¬†am getting what they are saying. I feel like to cry, why not even one is there in the group,¬†who thinks to speak in¬†a language that all can understand.¬†I simply want then to get up and go without saying anything to anyone. But it is against group decorum.
  • When¬†someone wants to borrow my favourite dresses. I am too materialistic when it comes in-between my favourites.
  • When my parents asks me about my office work like how I do my work, how is the work pressure, are you able to handle, how is your manager,…….I don’t want to give answers, giving every detail…..I simply don’t know what to say. I feel¬†guilty of my behavior but¬†I can’t help.

I am able to think this many only (only 7, have to think hard ūüėÄ )……will add more, once the mind will become clear ūüôā

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I am thinking to try ‘A to Z of me’ found here……..So, here it goes……….

A. Attached or single? Attached completely with life, everything about life, music, flowers, rain, my doom, my thinking, the loneliness feeling(popping sometime), the people, my lappi,….just everything! Who is here single?

B. Best Friend?¬† Hmmm…….I seriously can’t name one among all my friends. The way I am close with someone is same I am close with everyone. All my friends are very special to me. If I have to say about my ‘best friend’ ….my mom ūüôā¬†

C. Cake or pie?¬† I don’t like cakes…except choclate cake and Pie, I haven’t tried yet ūüė¶

D. Day of Choice? No choice, depends on how the day went….keeps on changing.

E. Essential Item?  Mobile, my I-pod and my bag. If these three are there, I feel totally secure.

F. Favourite Color? Blue

G. Gummy bears or worms? Gummy bears, they look cute.

H. Hometown? Now it has become Banglore.

I. Favourite Indulgance? Music and choclates

J. January or July. January when I am in my native. I love cold there. And when I am here, July….love the rain here.

K. Kids? No No, Let me get married first.

L. Life isn’t complete without?¬† Laughter

M. Marriage Date?¬† hmmmmmmmmm….

N. Numbers of brothers and sisters. One younger bro (but more of elder kinda)

O. Orange or Apples? Both, I will pick one slice of orange and then apple. Can’t decide when both are there.

P. Phobias?  Loneliness, my thinking, lossing whom I love.

Q. Quotes? “The secret lies in being brave enough everyday, to embrace the truth that whispers constantly from within.”

R. Reasons to smile?  Life

S. Season of choice? Spring,¬†green green¬†everywhere…..

T. Tag 5 People? All are welcome

U. Unknown fact about me? My orkut horoscope says,”stop searching forever, happiness is just near to you”, Were you knowing this about me before? Sorry for PJ…..Seriously, I can’t think about any!

V. Vegetable? Bhindi ki sabji and Potatoes.

W. Worst Habit?  M too possesive.

X. X-ray or Ultrasound? X-ray, never got a chance to go for ultrasound yet!

Y. Your favourite food? I love food, totally depends on my mood at that time…..

Z. Zodiac Sign?  I am perfect Taurean

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Inspired by the below poster entitled, “I¬†HAVE ARRIVED” which I luckily found on google.


Unknown hope perspires

in the state of abeyance

holding an empty echo

of the song sung by my soul long back

One day If I can remember the words

then I will shout to the world,



Lifeless shadow lingers

besides my body quiescently

giving out the mysterious power

of birth of nirvana from my barren womb

One day If I can make the shadow to breathe

then I will shout to the world,



Anesthetic dreams dwell

infront of eyes as heavenly holy mortuary

turning my soul into immortal phoenix

bridging me to the buried mystic power

One day If I need not give reason to awake my dreams

then I will shout to the world,


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So, m trying ‘revelation of my secrets‘¬†posted by Rambler. I have to reveal my 8 secrets. Let me see, how many I can come-up with. 8¬†is appearing to be a big big number!

1. Once I ate 11 chapatis at a stretch. Not the small chapatis, but the biggest size that¬†one can imagine, prepared by my Granny. I always afraid to tell to anyone this, thinking they will call me Petu and I hate to be called fat ūüôā

2. I love banana fruit. But whereever I go, I always avoid this fruit, after hearing banana is the biggest calorie provider. I always tell others that I hate banana.

3. I am biggest fan of Sanjeev Kumar and Guru Dutt. Some point of time, I wanted to marry both of them. And now my liking is Paulo Coelho.

4. I hate my smile. And I don’t understand why I get compliments on my smile only. I am totally confused as what my friends see in my smile.

5. Once I tried to smoke…..hmmm…..I remember I was in¬†2nd or 3rd standard.¬†My cousion, my brother and myself went under bed with a pack of cigarets¬†so that no-one could see us. First my cousion finished his turn¬†and my turn was there, we heard the foot steps of my uncle¬†and we had to run.

6. I was stealing chalks from my school till my sixth standard, so that I could play in my home, not knowing that chalks can be brought from outside. I used to believe we can get chalks only from the school and nowhere else. In my play, my students used to be the pillows on the bed. And everytime when as a teacher I have to scold my students, I used to hit the pillows with full force, hurting my hand many times when my hand used to hit the bed rather the pillows.

7. I love to see myself in the mirror when I cry. It makes me happy. ūüôā

8. It has been very long since I have cut my hand-nails. My nail-biting habbit is helping me!

wow! I¬†finished it.¬†This one really made me to think, to gather all my memories. Thanks Rambler, I enjoyed it! ūüôā

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