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Archive for the ‘words’ Category

Just a thought….

You don’t feel lonely when no-one is there but you feel lonely when you need and expect someone to be with you and that someone never takes a turn towards you.

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WEAKNESS

Sometimes I feel as if all the scratches left by the time has been rubbed. I am now a free, happy fully contented tranquil soul. But few days back, it so happened that I felt to tell everything to one of my friend. We are good friends but after his marriage limits appeared in our relationship. The time we used to spend together, our gossips, our roaming, everything condensed. Anyways every relationship changes with time and it is best to change ourselves accordingly. I don’t know what made me to share everything with him and one day I told him everything about the latest happenings in my life. He didn’t say anything…..no words to soothe you! Just nothing! But he just kept his hand on my head. I love when others keep their hands on my head. I felt so weak and felt how much still I need care and support of someone. I still haven’t grown-up to face everything alone what my life has to offer. I just wanted to hug him there only, on the road and wanted to cry on his shoulder. But I saw the space that time has created. And I continued to walk like a programmed robot.

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When I closed my eyes yesterday night, some hazel dreams started dancing in the deep darkness in-front of my eyes. But all I could see were those murky dreams that were just randomly jumping rather than dancing with those mesmerizing steps. And then with all my strength I tried to clear this smoggy scene and at the end all I could see were zillion twinkling dots telling me to shape my dream. I took one dot, joined it to another and then to another and then to another……..
Many painted dreams now invisibly rest besides me. And today when I tried to admire them, all I could feel and see is that they are not fitting in the space. I don’t know what this space is all about. May be it is all that my heart can think of, may be it is all that my eyes can see, may be it is all those emotions that I can feel or may be it is just a reflection of some fanatical dreams on a thin ice. I am clueless! And today only I got to read this message for me…..
“… that when you pursue your dreams, every second is an encounter with God. Following your dreams opens your heart allowing God to enter and fill you with bliss.”
I am here now with my dreams, struggling hard to fit them into my defined space. Many have been crippled and few have been smashed in this trial. I don’t know where God will enter and if He can fill cracks with his bliss. Just with a hope…..Amen!

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TEARS IN OCEAN

In this moment of sparkling diamond night sky

night presented itself as mercilessly baking the lonely

as if all my silence culminated in wet drop on my chin

and magical spillover ruined every thought of my being


I got up and opened the doors to my blissful balcony

but only to see a road with footsteps transfixed in time

I looked at the moon to tell my strangled unknown story

but only to hear a silence that always long to entwine


I found no one around……….and then silently,

trying not to let my tears escape

I closed my eyes……………

…………………..may be I can talk to my tears

~neilina

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Sitting in some lonesome corner

having sip of coffee in that shop

with eyes on an old couple

she hoped to get a puzzle

that opens itself for an answer

binding heart with heartbeats  

What if….

someone would hear

her echo of silent noise!!

But………….

You don’t get to meet soulmates on road

 

Waiting for her bus with bizarreness

listening to her favorite song

with eyes on a young couple

she hoped to get sprinkle of trust

where every new fearful thought

no longer can tear bridge apart

What if….

someone would see

her shadow of shivering spots!!

But………….

You don’t get to meet soulmates on road

 

When butterflies flutters in your stomach

when you feel fire, a burning from inside

with rush of warmth through your body

you, with the magical moment frozen in time

No….you don’t get to meet soulmates like this!

You never get to meet soulmates on road

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The road of my life’s journey is full of twists and dangerous bumps. I never felt that balmy breeze and never heard any rustling of leaves with melody meant for me. I am alone in this journey and always longed for my garden. I dreamt and wished my garden to be there just after the next turn. Illusion after another illusion has given me strength to take steps. A heart filled with longing has true spirit. My dream garden is filled with fragrance of rosemary. There is one lotus pond in the middle with green shrubs encircling it which is covered with the whitest and the purest flowers. I can see butterflies dancing on them. The breeze is running fingers in my hairs. I can see full moon from my garden. I can feel dew with every step. All I can see in my garden is love and all I can feel is tranquility. This is my illusion garden and I have always longed for it.

And when I was about to take next turn to move ahead I felt the same aroma. And the next turn gave me not the reflection but the garden itself. Still I am standing in awe not knowing what to do next. I lack courage to accept you…Oh My Dear Garden! I can’t! I have a fear that acceptance may mean to lose my strength to move on. I have a fear of facing many questions from my life if I don’t accept you.  I just wish not my every wish to come true. I am preparing myself to turn back and to search for another turn that holds another dream for me.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~Anatole France

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WORTHLESS!

Who told you to die…..

in middle of desert

astonished by realm of unseen

holding mirage in twinkling eyes

waiting for your solitary rose

Are you not worthy

not even for one step

to sweep sand below your feet

Are you not worthy

not even to ask one question

shaking zenith of your thought

Are you not worthy

not even to take one breath

rising the soul to kiss your feet

You are……

You are…..worthy for this loneliness!

No one told you to die….

in middle of desert…..Please, don’t die!

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