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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

I am bird, they say of endless ill omen

I am curse of God

they say of exile and poverty

Please say,

When God started giving curses…….

Please say,

Why wings can’t make me to fly………

 

I am flower, they say for departed

I am divine like goddess

they say, came to end yearnings of few

Please say,

When soul of dead will take me to heaven……

Please say,

Why men are born with hunger of lust……..

 

I am radiance, they say of falling star

I am deep darkness

they say of unending doom and cataclysm

Please say,

Why no-one is there to love ill-fated doom………

Please say,

Why they make godly wish seeing falling star……..

 

They shout at me

“I am Girl………I am Girl”

Please say,

What it means to be a girl?

Just for one time, please say,

What it means to be a girl

What it means……………….

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Blogging Addiction is popping-up in my life. It has become my favorite time pass. While aimlessly surfing I came across one blog DullBrightness which gave a pricking sensation to me. Lines of one of post ‘Lost in translation’ ………

“You sit alone in the boggling crowd, trying to establish a connection, but nobody or nothing around you seems to connect. It’s like you’ve never been a part of the cosmos. Your conception of self is blurred, immensely nebulous…you want to run away – from words, from beings, from objects and transcend into the hallucination of an opiate. You try to delve deeper into what a sane man would term ‘sense’, and you lose faith in sanity itself.”

What you think………..Are you Alone?

I have seen many blogs having no comments, not even one! But these bloggers keep on writing, continuing as long as three-four years or even more than that. My blog carries many feelings, emotions and represent a part of me, my life. I feel it is more of me and I don’t need anyone else, in-case if no-one turns up to read my words. I started my blog with exactly these intentions. But now I feel difference in the semantics of these words. Somehow I feel, some one should come here and read my words. I want ideas, love, response, want to be criticized and I want to see how deep other can understand my words. But one thing I always wanted about comments that they should be true, from heart not like as one of my friend says, just ‘BlogEtiquette’. Comments are not something like ‘Give and Take’. If I post comment in a blog, it is more of my liking, my love, my ideas towards the blog and every comment is special to me.

Are comments important to you? How you will feel when no one posts in your blog? How far can you go in writing even when no one visits to your blog? How can you define the relationship between you and your blog? These questions are pinging me since the time I have read the post of DullBrightness.

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Why are promises made? Why we need to give assurance for the future to someone? Does it not create some sort of obligation, some binding in the relationship? Why don’t we just go and give all the feelings to the relationship in such a way that both the sides know some silent, unsaid promises will always be kept. Promises have captured such an important part of our life, infact I am feeling that the foundation of all the pious relationship starts with ‘promises’.

 

I see myself in mirage of your promises

rather than in mirror which you hold.

Why are promises made?

Has the sky also promised mother

to shower rain,

light the night with stars and moon?

Has the air also promised the leaves

for thrilling life,

unending growth and balmy love?

May be yes,

May be a promise made in silence!

Why are promises made?

 

Why enigma spirals around my life

And you need to give me

derision binding with some subtle words

languid in falseness.

I collect your warm raindrop promises

on my palm, hiding it from sun

But with a fear when barren will appear,

these raindrops will turn vultures

gashing every portion of my soul.

I can’t see now ladder of your promises

but derision binding of my expectations.

 

Why are promises made?

You always draw love aroma by promises

Assuring me that you are always by my side

You are just a treacherous hunter, hunting my dreams

Please, don’t bind me….

Even I know you are just bystander

But I love to hear your words,

these falseness, meaningless

even when I know they are metaphors, fairy tales!

I love when you captivate me within promise bars

and I love to shout, “Why are promises made?”

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No thought is flickering my mind

I am aphonic in this silence

except with few shallow, hollow words

jumping to come out from my cerebrum.

You want to hear some

trendy, inspiring, knowledge worthy story

which can capture your feelings

or can change your life for good.

Mind always wants to receive,

a sort of divine attraction is felt in reception!

My words are fruitless, impotent, meaningless

My phonetics are sleeping

I am voiceless, speechless!

I just wish to go deep down in your heart

and to write a song of your heartbeats,

the song which is carried all along in your blood!

But I can’t

But I wish I can.

I wish to be brilliant in expression!

Pendulum always swings between

words said, which we shouldn’t

which we should, words remain unsaid!

These jingles give birth to senseless

like if I say

“dhihdi ahdhiuh ahyekfo fhushki”

– result of random hitting of keys!

– vomiting of random reflexes!

Not all the words carry meaning

I wish you can understand

I wish you can understand

when I randomly hit keys to say something

to write those senseless, meaningless words.

I wish you can!

I wish!

 

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From morning a different sort of feeling is wavering my mind. A feeling, ‘something is going to happen’, is pumping out from my heart. I am not able to define it. But it is shaking my mind, making me namby-pamby puppet. I have become dormant and without a feel of what is happening around me. As if all my senses are dumb and I am finding myself going deep into that restlessness. I want to come out from this…………want some change………….

Teeter totter life

Life of climacteric

moods

every moment

new melancholic

skyrockets from

heart and body

What is this?

Is this a fear?

Or something else?

Body shakes

with

kooky loony

vibration of heartbeats.

Insane electricity

starts from

toe and reaches brain,

to scrabble all words.

I can’t speak….

I can’t……

I wish, I can!

May be someone very far,

is knitting a booby trap.

May be my cognizant shadow

in ambush near unknown corner!

Really?

Please, say something….

Listen my silence………

Listen my heart………

for my body is busy

playing seesaw with life!

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Growing up into a woman,

is not some ephemerality

from dolls to diamonds.

It feels to be on a sheer voyage,

crossing many bridges,

linking many horizons of my eyes.

Some unknown bridges

would have appeared

from playful structures

of sand lying outside my house,

when sand was just enough

to show the skills of innocence.

Some unfelt happiness

would surely have escaped

from the cries when

rubber color of my right braid

would not match with my left.

Cries which made mother

to pleat hairs again for me.

Some utopian meaning

would surely have changed

of the tears from

frailty to emphatic.

The hugs of the barbie dolls

The random fights with brother.

All appears to be just house of dust!

The scoldings and kisses of papa

when report-card shown to him,

The understanding which now

came of the shinning twinkle

in his eyes!

Where the time was confined

in second and minute hands

and the transition now shows

time in indigo color of the sky,

the rain drops felt by the body

and some ripen moments of life!

Happiness changed from

undiminished joy to angelic ache.

The pleasing amiable ache

which defines the power of woman

A transit of an ordinary girl

in white shirt and grey skirt

into an unordinary woman

in the purity and power of divinity!

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I wrote sometime back about ‘soulmates’ in my post Soulmates and Lovers. And now while reading Brida, my favourite topic again flashed. I am loving this book! I am writing down some words which I felt are precious and have made my mind to give credence about my soulmate.

“We are eternal because we are all manifestations of God. That is why we go through many lives and deaths, emerging out of some unknown place and going towards another equally unknown place.”…………………………………”And when people think of reincarnation, they always come up against a very difficult question: if, in the beginning, there were so few people on the face of Earth, and now there are so many, where did all those new souls come from? The answer is simple. In certain reincarnations, we divide into two. Our souls divide as do crystals and stars, cells and plants. Our soul divides into two and those new soul are in turn transformed into two and so, within a few generations, we are scattered over a large part of Earth.”

“We form part of what the alchemists call the Anima mundi, the Soul of the World. The truth is that if the Anima mundi were merely to keep dividing, it would keep growing, but it would also become gradually weaker. That is why, as well as dividing into two, we also find ourselves. And that process of finding ourselves is called Love. Because when a soul divides, it always divides into a male part and a female part.”

“But how will I know who my Soulmate is? By taking risks. by risking failing, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search for Love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end.”

“Is it possible to meet more than one Soulmate in each life? Yes. And when that happens, the heart is divided, and the result is pain and suffering. Yes, we can meet three or four Soulmates, because we are many and we are scattered.”

“The essence of Creation is one and one alone. And that essence is called Love. Love is the force that bring us back together, in order to condense the experience dispersed in many lives and many parts of the world.”

“We are responsible for the whole Earth because we do not know where they might be, those Soulmates we were from the beginning of time. If they are well then we, too, will be happy. If they are not well, we will suffer, however unconsciously, a portion of their pain. Above all, though, we are responsible for re-encountering, at least once in every incarnation, the Soulmate who is sure to cross our path. Even if it is only for a matter of moments, because those moments bring with them a Love so intense that it justifies the rest of our days”.

“We can also allow our Soulmates to pass us by, without accepting him or her or even noticing, Then we need another incarnation in order to find that Soulmate. And because of our selfishness, we will be condemned to the worst torture humankind ever invented for itself: Loneliness”

My mind is now vacillating with so many questions. I hope to get the answers of all these questions by the time I finish the book. But I am happy, there is part of me somewhere on this earth. I am feeling happy and calm with a thought of this. I love you, Paulo Coelho 🙂

 

 

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