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Back after 6 years

Remembrance came from somewhere, landed in my lap and again felt to write. If someone still visit here…do you remember me?

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Friends, I am moving to a new wordpress andwon’t be writing anymore on “Sunet – just a rusted sunrise”. I will drop-by in your blog world soon ūüôā

Hope you all are doing good!!

By-mistake, if any of you is in love with my writing, please drop me a message for my new site ūüôā

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unlike her quiet silent morning song

this morning

the rain came with lyrical spring song

full of those gusty innocent smiles

and every tear like a bubble vanished

as if her life started loving rain even more

she carried each rain drop with perfection

and kept in her asylum of cloudy heart

not always you live for big things in life

but for the smallest thing

like for a rain drop

and to feel the greatest glory of God

and in the end

when purple melancholy was broken

with bright perfect love of sunshine

every rain drop in her heart

wrapped itself so perfectly

that it seemed

nothing has even been touched by her heartbeats

~neilina

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Sooner Or Later?

He said, “Sooner or Later?”

And I decided on “Sooner” if “Later” it would have to happen. But by the time I took my decision many thoughts crossed my mind and somewhere one thought crossed my life like a shooting star making me paralyze.

I am wondering what if I would have gone for “Later”. But by the time “later” would have come, may be I would have died hundred times from the burden of heaps collected on the my life’s seashore by the wave of time.

I always desire and still wish for just one strong wave that will take all the collected heap from my life, making my sea shore a smooth one. And “Sooner” is making me to do that!

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FEARS!

I am not scared

of talking to you endlessly about anything till eternity

I am not scared

of staying alone to count every tick of unrecorded time

I am not scared

of hidden faces that breeze into itsy-bitsy happiness of life

I am not scared

of holding your hand and sitting silently for whole of my life

I am not scared

of falling forever as if some adventure will never come to an end

But I am scared of sudden moment of ‘realizations’

I am scared of having to let them go for what they piously belongs to me

I am scared of living with a thought of endlessly blinked loneliness

I am scared of some practical realities of life

I am scared of losing you to time

And…………….

I am very scared

P.S. – inspiration from purpleincarnations!

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MIDNIGHT CRYSTAL

Remember…that sound of silence

locked silently somewhere in my heart

And the dusk when you left me

for some unreachable horizon

And I, a dull crystal

waited there for you to come, my sun

to ablaze me with your sheer radiance

And I, a dull crystal

waited there for that rainbow radiance

captured within the walls of my soul

Till the night came to shun who I am

Remember that echo of hope in my tears

that always talked about inescapable love

And my fear of unimaginable heat of love

that can burst me into thousand pieces

And….

Finally in the deepest of the darkest night

I found myself scattered everywhere

beyond eternity, high up there, with hundred souls

I found my radiance with the wind

that always echo your platonic laughter

I, a lost dull crystal

always remember……

not to forget you

my radiance

~neilina

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Yesterday I had a long chat with D. D is my PG mate’s love. ¬†And now because of community and caste difference, D’s parents are not allowing him to get married to P (my PG mate). And after all the family drama D has finally decided that he would sacrifice love for his parents. Their relationship continued for seven years and finally it is getting over. One thing that is bothering me like hell is the life of the girl who will get married to D. D is dead sure that he would never allow another girl to take P’s space. Till now he has seen seventeen girls and whenever he has gone to see a girl, always the face of P has come in-front of him. He can never ever give his love to another girl and all his love is for P.

My cousin got married day before yesterday. He decided to go for marriage after his love story with another girl fizzled out. His thoughts about another girl is same as D. When he had gone to see the girl (like a perfect arrange marriage) and finally said yes, he felt like he himself has done murder of his love. And no-one can occupy that space, no-one can get his love, no-one can fill his heart because all the things are meant for his lost love.

And finally, V’s story is somewhat similar to this.

I sometimes feel why someone lands into marriage if they are not sure of giving all their love and care to the partner. Why they don’t think about the girl who would land-up in their life? Do they have right to play with another’s life? And what-if after marriage they still are continuing their talk with their lost love and bluffing in-front of the girl who has landed in their life. These relationship are very pious to me.

Marriage is not some boat that you need just to sail through the river of life. You don’t deserve this boat if you can’t take care of the boat in the difficult times, if you can’t give your love like wave kisses the boat and you really don’t deserve it when you yourself is making a hole for boat to sink into the river.

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