HAPPY DEEPAWALI!

Wish you a very Happy Deepawali!

As I see the flickering candle

I feel my heartbeats

embraced with dancing light

lavishing universe with hopes

of flickering burned uncertainity.

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TAG WORLD – QUIRK! QUIRK!

So, after a long time am again landing into Tag world. Priti has tagged me to list down my quirks. In a sleepy mood today, don’t know how many I can list, but wanna give a try………seems to be a fun. 

• I love to see old couples, babies (can’t resist to pull their cheeks) and school going kids when I am on the road.
• I am crazy of antique jewellery collection even I hardly wear it.
• For me, “first impression is not the last impression” holds true. Mostly my initial judgement about the people is wrong. But if I feel that special kind of vibes for the other person that signals some insanity, I can never ever adjust with him/her.
• I love to collect the greetings cards. My collection has the cards starting from my fourth standard. Love to receive cards 🙂
• I love to tease people.
• For me communication is most important in any relationship.
• My behavior is mainly governed with the vibes that I get from another person. I can be too friendly and too reserved!
• I am tomboy at heart, love to go roller coaster ride, trekking, fishing and love to try the most adventurous things.
• I am constantly change person and my mood swings like anything. But I can hardly show that I am upset and will keep everything with me. I can never tell the other person that he/she has hurt-ed me.
• Songs should always be near to me.
• I have one lucky stone.
• I always need ‘my’ time in a day. Can’t do anything if I don’t talk to God or with myself.

All I can think of these points at 12 o’clock in the night with the drowsy condition. Thanks Gurl for the tag! All are welcome to take this tag.

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ENOUGH LOVE!

And…………

I told him

“I Love You”

shrinking words

into life

helter-skelter

he nooded

trying to find words

to ask me ‘WHY?’

And………..

I stood there

thinking zillion reasons

to transcend feelings

I looked deep

into his eyes

and shouted

“Is this enough?”

And…………

he moved away

may be to dead end

only to send echo

“Is Love Enough for us?”

And…………

Breathless I stood there

craving to know………..

What ‘enough’ is!

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UNDERSTANDING!

To speak out my wishes and my priorities is the toughest thing for me. I can’t visualize exactly what I want from life. Accepting whatever life offers can be devastating sometimes. Some questions need to be answered. You can’t leave them on time and can proceed with the flow of life. If you don’t answer then your life will not move or else no one will allow it to move. You need to sit silently and then search for answer, have to shout hundred times in a hope that answer can escape from angel’s hand or may be from devil’s hand. Being dependent it becomes very difficult to me to see clear skies beyond clouds. Again and again life is teaching me a lesson to become independent. But every step of mine has made to lag.

Mistakenly I landed

inside unknown zone

to wither kept promises

marked on my palms

I swallowed hundred songs

to give melody to life

rather than a meaning

and what came out

was a melancholy

of echoes inside hovel

Can’t be there one, just one

even my soul

wish who can understand me!

The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you; It is when you don’t understand yourself.

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HEAD AND HEART!

Creating a joint venture between head and heart puts a power pack behind your goals. Getting your head in sync with your heart and harnessing the power of coherence gives you the energy efficiency you need to achieve changes that haven’t been possible before. The head can notice what things need to change, but the heart provides the power and direction to actually bring about the changes…………

My action is mainly guided by my heart. But for every action, my head pings me, makes me to think, think without my heart. But at last, the end step is my heart’s voice. I am changed. Earlier, it was more of my head talk. I never listened my heart and may be I still crave for freedom, may be freedom means to listen to your heart. Your every step is echoed back with your heart’s voice. But steps are not taken by heart alone. My whole body is influenced by my every step. Then why do I forget my head (Is logic thinking is defined as head thinking?) There should always be a conscious step made by your head and admired by your heart or vice versa. The struggle will keep on going, but we are the bridge that can join these two narrow flowing rivers. I just wish what if all this could have been so easy…….it is not………..and ‘not’ simply makes the life worth, gives a way to go on search! Isn’t it beautiful?

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MINUS LIFE

Recently a society for blind people visited our company (I am very bad in remembering names). Some greeting cards made by these visually impaired people were on display. After seeing them my mind bemused into the thoughts as to how these people would have imagined their surroundings. The colors, the imagination, the thoughts, the designs were just amazing. I bow and salute these people and to the society.

I really adore and respect those people who inspite of their weakness have faced the challenge full hearted. Real courage lies when you fight with yourself, you face the hindrance and crush all the barriers with infinite help coming from inside you. But, what if someone is taking an upper hand and gaining everything by showing this disability.

There is one girl in our PG who belongs to a poor family and her father is a peon in some bank. She was studying far and in her academics she used to tell that her father was handicap-carpenter. Why? Just to get scholarship. I hated her like anything…..how one can tell about father like this? There is one guy N who was doing internship with me in my company. He is lame, so we all are very sympathetic and soft towards him. He used to tell that he has gained so much by showing his disability. He really needs our support but what if he thinks our love and support as our greatest weakness. Sometimes I get confuse as to what needs to be done then?

Then I remember Paulo’s words in ‘Like the flowing River’

‘Well, that’s not going to stop me helping anyone.’

‘We can each of us only offer what we have’, came the wise man’s reply.

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Made me to think!

I am reading Kahil Gibran’s ‘The Broken Wings’. I always loved his writngs and just loved the way when he personifies nature. Some words from The Broken Wings……

“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and preserving courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created in years or even generations”

Does he talk about something like ‘love at first sight’? Love for me is always in long companionship. Love takes time. But sometimes I do feel affinity for some people, I do feel for some people that I need them. But I never felt that spiritual link! I just want to know how that spiritual affinity feels! And many times for me it comes true that first expression may not be the last expression. I think spiritual affinity also takes time.

Is there no link between love and time given to a relationship?

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LONELINESS

A widow, age in-between 60-65 year, alone, no relatives, no friends, no one to talk to, staying under some mats canopied by a dying tree, dogs are only friends – this is our neighbor, Lakshmi. I haven’t seen her with someone (human being) since two years when I shifted to this PG. Dogs are her best friend or I can say she has found some companion who are always there with her, taking care of her, going with her when she moves outside her home. She never forgets to feed them even with the little rice that she gets from somewhere. And every morning, I have seen her feeding sparrows.

And on weekends, when I go and stand in Veranda, watching the outside view, I usually pass smile to her. She comes near to the adjoining wall and speaks to me in Kannada. I can’t understand even one word and simply moves my head as if I am getting everything. My simple gesture is ‘yes-yes’ for everything that she says. Her dogs are always there near to her.

How it feels when there is no-one to share your life, no-one with whom who can simply say two-three words, when every morning you get-up to see no-one, when no one thinks about you, when no one cares about you, when no one bothers whether you live or die, you are just living because you have to breathe……….It is the most hardest feeling that just pierces heart every moment.

For me, it is very easy to fall into loneliness trap. And when I see her I just pray, God forbids me to fall into this life. People do leave you……

** don’t wall yourself, off, in your castle, daring people to leave, what if they do? you’ll be even more…..Alone!

My body just shivers remembering my starting days in Bangalore and starting of the year. It was traumatic when you keep on searching for someone to talk to and you get no response. Thank God, those days passed and now I got good friends in PG. And Lakshmi’s image is always there in my mind……..I guess it won’t be much harder to learn Kannada so that I can talk to her. Some people just need few words, few words to share, few words to hear, few words to say!

** – source here

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PARANTHAS!

Tag line of ‘More than Paranthas’ attracts you like this, “More than Paranthas sports a chic style with trendy black marbles and inlay work, Rajasthani cut work mirrors on the and the subdued lighting. All it takes to old delhi and savour its famed cuisine”.

I don’t remember the reasons for which I have to give treat, but according to my G Bhaiya I have to give him 10 treats. So, yesterday we planned to initiate our treat ceremony. And guess what, after that treat, all my treats got cancelled except one. We all decided to go ‘More than Paranthas’. Actually, the name was suggested by me only and if it my suggestion, I was suspicious inside that we all could land-up in some sagging situation. It never happened, that in-case the name suggested by me of any place, dish, restaurant has come out really well.

I guess people will like the ambiance. But for me, it was not that up-to the mark. I feel more comfortable in open environment rather than in a place where everything is just black and in red lights. No comments about service, just awful! If you have ample time and want to do some gappe-shappe for long hours then the place is somewhat good. Every order takes hell of time. And their specialty – Parantha! I had the worst paranthas ever. I ordered some Jodhpuri Hari Mirch Parantha but couldn’t have even one bite. It was bitter than bitter gourd. And guess my parantha was about 78 Bucks. Why would I spend this much for just 1 parantha, if I am not getting even 1% of satisfaction! Very rare I complain about food, but this time I couldn’t control myself after this horrible experience. Don’t know why there were spoiling Old Delhi name, everything is just opposite there!

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I AM BEAUTIFUL!

I am beautiful for this beautiful day

imbibed in happiness from your eyes

I can see your eyes deep in my heart

I am beautiful for this day……..

for I am blind!

 

I am beautiful for this beautiful day

soaked in mesmerizing beauty of me

I am dancing with butterflies of spring

I am beautiful for this day……….

for I am lame!

 

I am beautiful for this beautiful day

illuminated by rythmic heartbeat

I can hear every step meant for me

I am beautiful for this day…..

for I am deaf!

 

I am beautiful for this beautiful day

spirited by every passion of life

I can feel every passing moment

I am beautiful for this day……

for I am dead!

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